By Annie Chan. Extracted from Richard Templar "The Rules of Love"
 | The Rules of Love by Richard Templar is a fantastic read suitable for anyone in love or soon to be in love. His writing is easy to comprehend though I must add that some of the rules might be a little trickier to apply here in Singapore. For the benefit of all, I have extracted the essence of the Rules and every week, I will share up to 5 Rules right here on this Blog. |
The first 68 Rules will be focused on "Rules on Finding Love" and "Relationship Rules".
Rules on Parting are from Rules 69 to 73 whilst Rules 74 to 84 tackle on Family Rules.
Rules 85 to 96 touch on Friendship Rules and the last 4 Rules are "Rules for Everyone"
Though there appears to be 100 Rules of Love, do remember that these Rules are UNIVERSAL and they are also fundamental to living a life that is full of love.
Rules on Parting are from Rules 69 to 73 whilst Rules 74 to 84 tackle on Family Rules.
Rules 85 to 96 touch on Friendship Rules and the last 4 Rules are "Rules for Everyone"
Though there appears to be 100 Rules of Love, do remember that these Rules are UNIVERSAL and they are also fundamental to living a life that is full of love.
Rule Number 1 - Be Yourself
It is always very tempting to reinvent oneself when we start going into a relationship. It could be conscious or it could be unconscious. Either way - DON'T!
Of course if you are referring to getting rid of a bad habit which has always killed your relationship, then by all means do it.
But if you are reinventing yourself so that you can keep the new person interested .... then you are simply lying to yourself. If the person is really into you; he / she is into you for who you are and not who you hoping to be..... so why chose to live a life of lies?
If there is anything you feel will or might ruin the relationship in future and you feel the need to share with this person, share at the appropriate time.
If the relationship is meant to be, it will stand the test of the revelation. Otherwise time to move on.
(Reflection : Might as well get it all out in the open now)
Rule Number 2 - Get Over It Before You Get on With It
Most of us get faced with troubled relationships; relationship which leave us broken and makes us wary of the next person entering our lives. If you are made an emotional wreck by your last relationship, it is better you fix yourself before you start looking for a new love. Otherwise the new person might be getting to know a "broken" you and not the real you.
And while you heal yourself; it is important you look for someone who is considerably healed already as well... it works both ways.
(Reflection : Do yourself a favour - Go away and hide somewhere while you lick your wounds)
Rule Number 3 - You Won't Be Happy With a Partner Until You Can Be Happy On Your Own
Some people are always in relationships; even bad ones which are clearly wearing them out. Why is that so? Well, they might be afraid to be alone. So they rather be with someone; anyone; so they won’t be alone. To them, being single seem like the end of the world and they feel they can never be happy alone.
However, the truth of the matter is - you need to be able to be happy alone; then when you are with that someone; your happiness can double.
So are you in a relationship just to be happy? If so, you better start reflecting and decide if you truly want to be in that relationship.
(Reflection : Far too many people stay in unhappy relationship because they are scared to be alone)
Rule Number 4 - You'll Know Them When You Meet Them
And what if you don't? Then what do you do?
Simple, if you do not feel (think) the person is the right person, then don't take a gamble; just yet. Take a tad more time to learn more about him or her. If they are the right one, you will know it even if it will to take a bit longer.
But remember, sometimes your partner might know it sooner. If that happens, do not let him / her pressure you to a commitment if you are not sure yet. Rushing into such matter will not benefit anyone.
(Reflection : If you aren't sure right at the beginning, that's normal)
Rule Number 5 - Choose Someone Who Makes You Laugh
Who doesn't want to be with someone physically attractive; has a great personality? But if this person lacks sense of humour then as the relationship nurture, you can find you have nothing to talk to them!
Besides finding that someone who can make you laugh; find also within that person the ability to make you laugh at yourself.
(Reflection : A sense of humour will last you long after everything else has gone)
It is always very tempting to reinvent oneself when we start going into a relationship. It could be conscious or it could be unconscious. Either way - DON'T!
Of course if you are referring to getting rid of a bad habit which has always killed your relationship, then by all means do it.
But if you are reinventing yourself so that you can keep the new person interested .... then you are simply lying to yourself. If the person is really into you; he / she is into you for who you are and not who you hoping to be..... so why chose to live a life of lies?
If there is anything you feel will or might ruin the relationship in future and you feel the need to share with this person, share at the appropriate time.
If the relationship is meant to be, it will stand the test of the revelation. Otherwise time to move on.
(Reflection : Might as well get it all out in the open now)
Rule Number 2 - Get Over It Before You Get on With It
Most of us get faced with troubled relationships; relationship which leave us broken and makes us wary of the next person entering our lives. If you are made an emotional wreck by your last relationship, it is better you fix yourself before you start looking for a new love. Otherwise the new person might be getting to know a "broken" you and not the real you.
And while you heal yourself; it is important you look for someone who is considerably healed already as well... it works both ways.
(Reflection : Do yourself a favour - Go away and hide somewhere while you lick your wounds)
Rule Number 3 - You Won't Be Happy With a Partner Until You Can Be Happy On Your Own
Some people are always in relationships; even bad ones which are clearly wearing them out. Why is that so? Well, they might be afraid to be alone. So they rather be with someone; anyone; so they won’t be alone. To them, being single seem like the end of the world and they feel they can never be happy alone.
However, the truth of the matter is - you need to be able to be happy alone; then when you are with that someone; your happiness can double.
So are you in a relationship just to be happy? If so, you better start reflecting and decide if you truly want to be in that relationship.
(Reflection : Far too many people stay in unhappy relationship because they are scared to be alone)
Rule Number 4 - You'll Know Them When You Meet Them
And what if you don't? Then what do you do?
Simple, if you do not feel (think) the person is the right person, then don't take a gamble; just yet. Take a tad more time to learn more about him or her. If they are the right one, you will know it even if it will to take a bit longer.
But remember, sometimes your partner might know it sooner. If that happens, do not let him / her pressure you to a commitment if you are not sure yet. Rushing into such matter will not benefit anyone.
(Reflection : If you aren't sure right at the beginning, that's normal)
Rule Number 5 - Choose Someone Who Makes You Laugh
Who doesn't want to be with someone physically attractive; has a great personality? But if this person lacks sense of humour then as the relationship nurture, you can find you have nothing to talk to them!
Besides finding that someone who can make you laugh; find also within that person the ability to make you laugh at yourself.
(Reflection : A sense of humour will last you long after everything else has gone)
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