By Annie Chan. Extracted from Richard Templar "The Rules of Love"
Rule Number 11 - Get To Know Someone Through All The Seasons Before Making Any Major Decisions
How many of you out there ever have friends telling you how much in love they are with their new partner and they are planning marriage all in the span of less than 1 year from knowing the person, to dating the person, to REALLY KNOWING the person? I am sure we all have. I have too as well
It takes time to know someone. At work we take time to know a colleague so we know how to best work with that person. As a friend, we try to know that person so we can have a great friendship. If for people who do not create much of an impact in your life you bother to take the time to know them; then why is it when it comes to a life partner, you will rush into a marriage without thinking twice about wanting to know him / her more?
Love is sweet and love is fantastic, but love itself will not sustain you if you realised that the person you are married to is far from who he or she is during the heat of the courtship.
So, chill a little. Take time to know the person. What is 12 months of waiting vs a lifetime of happiness?
(Reflection : If this is really the right person to be with, waiting 12 months will be well worth it)
Rule Number 12 - Don't Stay With Someone Who Doesn't Care
Some people are great at being partners and some simply sucks at it! Once they know you, instead of making you feel special, they are more concerned about self than you. Why do you than want to be in a relationship with such a person?
Eg, they know you love desserts but they do not have a sweet tooth. To PLEASE you they will go for dessert with you but they will pick on whatever you order and try darn hard to appear interested but you know deep down they wish they are not there with you.
How do you feel honestly? Sweet like the dessert or you rather he / she stay at home while you enjoy your sweet desserts with like-minded friends?
This is just a simple example of being with someone who doesn’t care.... well you know what I am getting at. Somewhere out there will be someone who truly cares so don’t throw yourself to someone who only think of himself or herself
(Reflection : You want a partner who makes you feel special because you are)
Rule Number 13 - If You Can't Trust Them, You Haven't Got a Relationship
Trust is an absolute must have between partners. Trust can range from being faithful to sticking to promises. If you cannot trust your partner, you will never be happy. Period.
There are of course many reasons why you cannot trust the person - past records; personal hunches, etc. Whatever it is, you must be able to trust.
Or maybe it is you. You might have been lied to before hence the fear to trust. If so, then you have to work on yourself first. You need to learn to trust once again; otherwise your partner is going to feel accused each time your fear arises. And is this going to feel good for them? The answer is no.
Whatever is the cause of the trust issue, you have to talk it out with your partner. If you cannot solve the issue, then move on.
(Reflection : Maybe you have been lied to in the past and you find it impossible to trust people)
Rule Number 14 - Be Honest (While You Still Have the Chance)
We all have a past; a part of our life which we might not particularly be proud of. However, if that part of your life is going to have a huge impact on your future with a new partner, it is best you confess and let them decide if it is a past they can accept.
When do you tell them? You should know best. If you think the relationship is going well and you want a future with this person, it might be best to tell earlier on otherwise you might hurt them really badly.
What is most important is do not lie.
(Reflection : The crucial thing is not to lie)
Rule Number 15 - Don't Play Games
How many of you have ever been told by a friend "He / she not calling you? Well when he / she calls; don't respond. Let him / her worry. Play hard to get, etc etc etc".
Well, if you have such a friend or you are guilty of such act, please stop it. Stop playing such childish games.
Yes, your potential partner has not called. Well, maybe he / she is really busy. He / she cannot call you can initiate the call can’t you? Why is there a need to play games? If you think it is cool... it is super uncool.
Being cool is when you wanna talk to that person you call. When you are not happy you tell that person. You want the person to eg. spend more time with you you tell that person. We are not dating mind readers, how can they always know what is on our minds.
You wanna continue playing games? Well, your game will be over when it is your turn to meet another game player. Then you will know how it feels to be "played" with!!
(Reflection : The Only Way To Begin A Relationship Is As You Mean To Go On)
How many of you out there ever have friends telling you how much in love they are with their new partner and they are planning marriage all in the span of less than 1 year from knowing the person, to dating the person, to REALLY KNOWING the person? I am sure we all have. I have too as well
It takes time to know someone. At work we take time to know a colleague so we know how to best work with that person. As a friend, we try to know that person so we can have a great friendship. If for people who do not create much of an impact in your life you bother to take the time to know them; then why is it when it comes to a life partner, you will rush into a marriage without thinking twice about wanting to know him / her more?
Love is sweet and love is fantastic, but love itself will not sustain you if you realised that the person you are married to is far from who he or she is during the heat of the courtship.
So, chill a little. Take time to know the person. What is 12 months of waiting vs a lifetime of happiness?
(Reflection : If this is really the right person to be with, waiting 12 months will be well worth it)
Rule Number 12 - Don't Stay With Someone Who Doesn't Care
Some people are great at being partners and some simply sucks at it! Once they know you, instead of making you feel special, they are more concerned about self than you. Why do you than want to be in a relationship with such a person?
Eg, they know you love desserts but they do not have a sweet tooth. To PLEASE you they will go for dessert with you but they will pick on whatever you order and try darn hard to appear interested but you know deep down they wish they are not there with you.
How do you feel honestly? Sweet like the dessert or you rather he / she stay at home while you enjoy your sweet desserts with like-minded friends?
This is just a simple example of being with someone who doesn’t care.... well you know what I am getting at. Somewhere out there will be someone who truly cares so don’t throw yourself to someone who only think of himself or herself
(Reflection : You want a partner who makes you feel special because you are)
Rule Number 13 - If You Can't Trust Them, You Haven't Got a Relationship
Trust is an absolute must have between partners. Trust can range from being faithful to sticking to promises. If you cannot trust your partner, you will never be happy. Period.
There are of course many reasons why you cannot trust the person - past records; personal hunches, etc. Whatever it is, you must be able to trust.
Or maybe it is you. You might have been lied to before hence the fear to trust. If so, then you have to work on yourself first. You need to learn to trust once again; otherwise your partner is going to feel accused each time your fear arises. And is this going to feel good for them? The answer is no.
Whatever is the cause of the trust issue, you have to talk it out with your partner. If you cannot solve the issue, then move on.
(Reflection : Maybe you have been lied to in the past and you find it impossible to trust people)
Rule Number 14 - Be Honest (While You Still Have the Chance)
We all have a past; a part of our life which we might not particularly be proud of. However, if that part of your life is going to have a huge impact on your future with a new partner, it is best you confess and let them decide if it is a past they can accept.
When do you tell them? You should know best. If you think the relationship is going well and you want a future with this person, it might be best to tell earlier on otherwise you might hurt them really badly.
What is most important is do not lie.
(Reflection : The crucial thing is not to lie)
Rule Number 15 - Don't Play Games
How many of you have ever been told by a friend "He / she not calling you? Well when he / she calls; don't respond. Let him / her worry. Play hard to get, etc etc etc".
Well, if you have such a friend or you are guilty of such act, please stop it. Stop playing such childish games.
Yes, your potential partner has not called. Well, maybe he / she is really busy. He / she cannot call you can initiate the call can’t you? Why is there a need to play games? If you think it is cool... it is super uncool.
Being cool is when you wanna talk to that person you call. When you are not happy you tell that person. You want the person to eg. spend more time with you you tell that person. We are not dating mind readers, how can they always know what is on our minds.
You wanna continue playing games? Well, your game will be over when it is your turn to meet another game player. Then you will know how it feels to be "played" with!!
(Reflection : The Only Way To Begin A Relationship Is As You Mean To Go On)
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