By Annie Chan. Extracted from Richard Templar "The Rules of Love"
Rule Number 31 - Let Not The Sun Go Down Upon Your Wrath
In any relationships there are bound to be quarrels and disagreements. Then what happens? You sulk for days and "swear" you will ignore him / her till he / she apologies! Why be so childish!
What if this person whom you love abruptly departs in the midst of this childishness? Won't you regret for the rest of your life?
Hence, never bring your arguments to bed. Any issue either one of you not happy with should be resolved before you head to bed. Of cos if the issues are bigger, both need to agree that a discussion will be needed later.
If you and your partner are matured individuals who love each other deeply, you won't want to fall out with each other over anything.
(Reflection : I'm not saying you should never row because that's unrealistic and probably unhealthy)
Rule Number 32 - Be The First To Say Sorry
But it wasn't your fault I hear you say. Does it matter? Well the answer is no, it doesn't matter to say sorry even if you are not the person at fault!
This is because, you are not apologising for your stand rather you are apologising for allowing things to get overheated and out of hand.
(Reflection : You are apologising for being childish and for all the rules you clearly forgot in order to get to this point)
Rule Number 33 - Houston, We Have a Problem
A relationship is between 2 partners, so if one partner has a problem, it is pretty natural the other partner has to deal with it.
Problems of course exist in many different ways, but whatever the problem is, if your partner is not happy, how can you continue to live your life smiling from ear to ear?
If the person whom you love, or claim you love, is facing some problem and it does not bother you, then I wonder if you are in love with the person to start with or you are just in love with the fact that you are in love!
So wise well, if your partner is not happy, do something about it!!! Talk, discuss, work it out.... and soon!!!
(Reflection : The fact that they are not happy is a problem and it is YOUR problem)
Rule Number 34 - Don't Put Them on a Pedestal and Expect Them to Stay There
Some people simply love to put their partners on a pedestal and worship the ground they walk on. STOP THAT!!
Your partner is but mere mortal who makes mistake. But if you are so blinded by them and worship them like kings and queens can you imagine the pressure you are placing on them and on yourself?
What if your queen puts on some weight? What if your king burps in public?
There is nothing wrong in wanting to "worship" that loved one, but do it with the right dosages. For the rest of the time; let them be themselves and you will see that they are more fun to be with.
(Reflection : A relationship with a fellow human is going to be a lot more rewarding than one with an alien being)
Rule Number 35 - Know When to Listen and When to Act
It is never easy being in a relationship and knowing when to listen and when to act, sometimes can be a challenge to couples.
Your partner had a bad day at work and started pouring his / her frustrations when they get home. Do you act or listen?
Your partner called to say he / she is running late and can’t grab dinner home as agreed. Do you act and go get dinner or you just listen?
Sometimes, we humans do not need advice or action from our partners; we just need some sort of validation from our partners that it is normal to get upset to be stuck in a traffic jam, to be fedup with an inefficient colleague, etc... we just want to know we are normal to act that way.
These are simple examples... but you get my point right?
(Reflection : We humans are strange creatures and we do need to know that our reactions and behaviour are acceptable)
In any relationships there are bound to be quarrels and disagreements. Then what happens? You sulk for days and "swear" you will ignore him / her till he / she apologies! Why be so childish!
What if this person whom you love abruptly departs in the midst of this childishness? Won't you regret for the rest of your life?
Hence, never bring your arguments to bed. Any issue either one of you not happy with should be resolved before you head to bed. Of cos if the issues are bigger, both need to agree that a discussion will be needed later.
If you and your partner are matured individuals who love each other deeply, you won't want to fall out with each other over anything.
(Reflection : I'm not saying you should never row because that's unrealistic and probably unhealthy)
Rule Number 32 - Be The First To Say Sorry
But it wasn't your fault I hear you say. Does it matter? Well the answer is no, it doesn't matter to say sorry even if you are not the person at fault!
This is because, you are not apologising for your stand rather you are apologising for allowing things to get overheated and out of hand.
(Reflection : You are apologising for being childish and for all the rules you clearly forgot in order to get to this point)
Rule Number 33 - Houston, We Have a Problem
A relationship is between 2 partners, so if one partner has a problem, it is pretty natural the other partner has to deal with it.
Problems of course exist in many different ways, but whatever the problem is, if your partner is not happy, how can you continue to live your life smiling from ear to ear?
If the person whom you love, or claim you love, is facing some problem and it does not bother you, then I wonder if you are in love with the person to start with or you are just in love with the fact that you are in love!
So wise well, if your partner is not happy, do something about it!!! Talk, discuss, work it out.... and soon!!!
(Reflection : The fact that they are not happy is a problem and it is YOUR problem)
Rule Number 34 - Don't Put Them on a Pedestal and Expect Them to Stay There
Some people simply love to put their partners on a pedestal and worship the ground they walk on. STOP THAT!!
Your partner is but mere mortal who makes mistake. But if you are so blinded by them and worship them like kings and queens can you imagine the pressure you are placing on them and on yourself?
What if your queen puts on some weight? What if your king burps in public?
There is nothing wrong in wanting to "worship" that loved one, but do it with the right dosages. For the rest of the time; let them be themselves and you will see that they are more fun to be with.
(Reflection : A relationship with a fellow human is going to be a lot more rewarding than one with an alien being)
Rule Number 35 - Know When to Listen and When to Act
It is never easy being in a relationship and knowing when to listen and when to act, sometimes can be a challenge to couples.
Your partner had a bad day at work and started pouring his / her frustrations when they get home. Do you act or listen?
Your partner called to say he / she is running late and can’t grab dinner home as agreed. Do you act and go get dinner or you just listen?
Sometimes, we humans do not need advice or action from our partners; we just need some sort of validation from our partners that it is normal to get upset to be stuck in a traffic jam, to be fedup with an inefficient colleague, etc... we just want to know we are normal to act that way.
These are simple examples... but you get my point right?
(Reflection : We humans are strange creatures and we do need to know that our reactions and behaviour are acceptable)
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