To some of you out there, you might think this rule seems frivolous... but is it really?
What is attractive in this aspect?
I would say it is traits (both physical and behaviour) which attracted your partner to you and you to him / her. If so, don't you think you should continue to up-keep those traits?
I am not saying you cannot slip and must always look good, but do not go to the other extreme as well and simply do not care!
Why should it be the case of "oh I got the guy / gal, so I can stop being attractive"? If you love this person, you want to continue to be attractive to him / her and you would want him or her to do likewise.
(Reflection : It is just a matter of showing your partner respect by taking their view into account)
Rule Number 37 - If You Can Say Something Nice, Do
When you are in a committed relationship, how often do you say nice things to your partner?
I am pretty sure during the courtship days, nice words are plentiful. But once the relationship is stabilised, do you continue to say nice things to them... or do you say things such as "But you know I love you. Why ask the obvious?"
If it is obvious, why can't or why don't you do it?
We are all human and we like reassurance and encouragement, no matter how confident we are. It makes us feel good. So if you love your partner, why don't you want him / her to feel good?
(Reflection : We all need reassurance & encouragement. We are human, and that's how we work)
Rule Number 38 - Don't Try To Be Their Parent
You should be a lot of things to your partner - friend, lover, companion, etc but never never a parent!!!!
Your partner is a grown-up; an independent adult (I would hope he / she is independent!) capable of making his / her own decision. He / she decided on his / her own to be with you right?
So, if you have been a parent to your partner, please stop. If you continue, you are likely to get 2 possible "reward" - a meek partner or a rebellious one. Which do you really want?
By not being a parent, does not mean you cannot share your view. That's right; you should share your opinion but leave the decision to him or her.
(Reflection : If you want to be a parent to someone, have children)
Rule Number 39 - Be Part of Their Life
Do you have couple friends who seem to have separate lives even though they are married? Yes, you see them together but most times, they seen to be very much "single" and their partner do not seen to know much about the things they do.
Is this healthy? Not being part of your partner's life? Well, the answer is an obvious no.
Yes, it is good to have some me time and pursue your own hobbies / interests. But that does not mean you do not welcome your partner to know what you are doing isn't it? And as a partner, don't you think you should attempt to be interested?
Relationship is about long term TOGETHER. If you continue to lead separate lives... you are better off not being together.
(Reflection : If you are not involved in your partner's life, what are you there for?)
Rule Number 40 - If Little Things Annoy You, Say So - With Humour
We are all human meaning to say, we will have behaviour / actions which can be irritating to our partners.
If the action is not too annoying, well a little tolerance is probably ok. But if you are finding it too annoying for your liking, be honest and tell them - WITH HUMOUR!!! Not in a reprimanding sort of way, please.
While you have your right to tell them their annoying ways, you have to be able to accept it as well if they tell you yours! It is a 2-way street!
(Reflection : If you are going to dish it out, you have got to be able to take it)