By Annie Chan. Extracted from Richard Templar "The Rules of Love"
Rule Number 46 - Your Partner Is More Important Than Your Kids For the singles out there, this Rule will sound remote to you. But feel free to share with your married friends. I am sure many of you have seen friends putting their heart and soul caring for their kids when they become partners and in the course of the process, somehow neglected their partner. That is rather sad isn’t it? To neglect someone who is meant to be your life partner. |
Yes, kids are important but so is your chosen life partner. Your kids are gonna grow up and move out and start their own family, by then who are you left with? Your partner isn't it? But if you have neglected him / her, then how are you going to spend the rest of your life with this person?
Moreover, you would want your kids to have the right mindset of a relationship don't you? Or do you want your kids growing up and thinking that it is perfectly ok to neglect one's partner? Think about it
(Reflection : This isn't about your partner getting more time than the kids because that often just isn't possible)
Rule Number 47 - Make Time For Romance
When we are bogged down with work (and kids in future), romance can be the furthest thing on our mind. And yet, romance is the very thing which is needed if you wish for your relationship to always contain that little special something between you and your partner.
A candle-lit dinner at a fancy restaurant is romantic but romance need not have to come with a big price tag.
A walk in the park, a nice picnic, a stay-home night with pizza and movie, a hot bath & massage together, etc.
Well, you know what I am talking about...so now go create some romance with your partner now!!
(Reflection : Come on, you know your partner will enough by now to have a pretty good idea how to romance them)
Rule Number 48 - Have A Passion For Your Life Together
If you are already in a comfortable relationship, do you still feel the romance and passion you feel for your partner? I am not talking about sexual passion (although that helps); but passion for them as a person.
If the passion is fizzling out, why is that so? Because of kids? Work? Or you both are simply so comfortable and you feel that passion is not really necessary?
Well, if you have fallen into that stage, go back to Rule 46 and Rule 47 and remember your partner should be more important than your kids and of course your work and you need to learn to make time for romance.
When you master these 2 rules, Rule 48 will be a piece of cake cos you would have naturally maintained that passion you have for that person and you will continue to encourage them to grow and develop and vice versa.
(Reflection : Put them at the top of your priority list and dedicate your life to them)
Rule Number 49 - Share The Workload
Being in a relationship also means treating your partner fairly and this include sharing the home workload - that is if you are staying together or married.
Everyone works, even a stay-home mum has work - looking after kids IS WORK!!
So as a couple, both should pitch in to help. When you return home and your partner is busy preparing the meal, you can maybe help lay the table or put the laundry to wash instead of lazing in front of the TV!!
Some of you guys might think you have worked the whole day outside you deserve the break plus household duties are usually for the ladies. Well, think again. Your female partner worked the whole day too didn't she? If so, why can’t you help lighten her load?
The same applies to housewives / stay home mums. Gentlemen, if you have never spend a day doing housework or caring for the kids, try it then decide if that is more tiring or your work battle is worst
(Reflection : No lie-ins every morning while they get up with the kids)
Rule Number 50 - Trust The Other One To Do The Job
Following on Rule 49; if you and your partner have agreed on who is to do what tasks, you have to trust your partner to get it done. Well, you might not agree with the way he / she does it, but it should be their responsibility to manage that task.
If their way is making the task worst, of course you can share your views, but at the end of the day, you should hand over that responsibility to your partner.
Trust that they know what need to be done to complete that task or tasks!
(Reflection : If you are going to give the task to your partner, you have to give them the responsibility too)
Moreover, you would want your kids to have the right mindset of a relationship don't you? Or do you want your kids growing up and thinking that it is perfectly ok to neglect one's partner? Think about it
(Reflection : This isn't about your partner getting more time than the kids because that often just isn't possible)
Rule Number 47 - Make Time For Romance
When we are bogged down with work (and kids in future), romance can be the furthest thing on our mind. And yet, romance is the very thing which is needed if you wish for your relationship to always contain that little special something between you and your partner.
A candle-lit dinner at a fancy restaurant is romantic but romance need not have to come with a big price tag.
A walk in the park, a nice picnic, a stay-home night with pizza and movie, a hot bath & massage together, etc.
Well, you know what I am talking about...so now go create some romance with your partner now!!
(Reflection : Come on, you know your partner will enough by now to have a pretty good idea how to romance them)
Rule Number 48 - Have A Passion For Your Life Together
If you are already in a comfortable relationship, do you still feel the romance and passion you feel for your partner? I am not talking about sexual passion (although that helps); but passion for them as a person.
If the passion is fizzling out, why is that so? Because of kids? Work? Or you both are simply so comfortable and you feel that passion is not really necessary?
Well, if you have fallen into that stage, go back to Rule 46 and Rule 47 and remember your partner should be more important than your kids and of course your work and you need to learn to make time for romance.
When you master these 2 rules, Rule 48 will be a piece of cake cos you would have naturally maintained that passion you have for that person and you will continue to encourage them to grow and develop and vice versa.
(Reflection : Put them at the top of your priority list and dedicate your life to them)
Rule Number 49 - Share The Workload
Being in a relationship also means treating your partner fairly and this include sharing the home workload - that is if you are staying together or married.
Everyone works, even a stay-home mum has work - looking after kids IS WORK!!
So as a couple, both should pitch in to help. When you return home and your partner is busy preparing the meal, you can maybe help lay the table or put the laundry to wash instead of lazing in front of the TV!!
Some of you guys might think you have worked the whole day outside you deserve the break plus household duties are usually for the ladies. Well, think again. Your female partner worked the whole day too didn't she? If so, why can’t you help lighten her load?
The same applies to housewives / stay home mums. Gentlemen, if you have never spend a day doing housework or caring for the kids, try it then decide if that is more tiring or your work battle is worst
(Reflection : No lie-ins every morning while they get up with the kids)
Rule Number 50 - Trust The Other One To Do The Job
Following on Rule 49; if you and your partner have agreed on who is to do what tasks, you have to trust your partner to get it done. Well, you might not agree with the way he / she does it, but it should be their responsibility to manage that task.
If their way is making the task worst, of course you can share your views, but at the end of the day, you should hand over that responsibility to your partner.
Trust that they know what need to be done to complete that task or tasks!
(Reflection : If you are going to give the task to your partner, you have to give them the responsibility too)