By Annie Chan. Extracted from Richard Templar "The Rules of Love"
Rule Number 41 - Go That Extra Step In Trying To Please Them
Honestly, if you truly love your partner, this rule will seem to be a piece of cake.
But if you are in that relationship for the sake of being in a relationship, then you might find this rule kind of hard to follow.
If you love that person, what is going that extra mile for him or her?
Why do you have to wait till he / she is unwell then you cook them a hot soup? Why wait till their birthday then surprise them with a hand written card and gift?
Surprise them by doing their chores for them. Pleasure them with a nice massage if they had a long, hard day at work. Take them somewhere just because you want to and you know they would love to go......
And may I repeat, such acts should be 2-ways.... if you are on the receiving end of such sweetness; return the favour
(Reflection : Enough just isn't enough. You should be doing more than enough)
Rule Number 42 - Make Sure Your Partner is Always Pleased to See You
Remember the feeling you had when you first got together with your partner? That butterflies in the stomach feeling?
Well, once the relationship is more settled; that feeling probably do not exist anymore. However, there should be a replacement feeling; a feeling of happiness each time you see him / her. When you didn't see him / her for a few days, the excitement of seeing him / her again should still be there.
And of course you want your partner to feel that same way about you as well.
How can you do that? For starters, when you see them, no matter how unhappy you have been at work or with someone else, still greet them with a smile and ask about their day. If you really need to get your unhappiness off your chest, do it in a more positive manner.
Eg. Instead of saying "I had such a lousy day"... try saying "It's nice to be in your arms after the day I had".
(Reflection : It gives you a reason for living, to be able to bring that much joy to someone)
Rule Number 43 - Don't Dump Responsibility on Your Partner
"It's all your fault! Told you to book the tickets early didn't I?"
Does this sound somewhat familiar? Well this is just an example of dumping responsibility on your partner. You mean you cannot buy the tickets? You are also an independent adult aren't you? Before you were in a relationship, I am sure you were capable of getting those tickets so why dump the responsibility just because you have a partner.
I am not saying you cannot dump responsibility. But if the issue is really yours or his / her alone, then the person has to take up the responsibility of his / her not so good act.
Even then, one can raise the responsibility issue with positive words such as "Let's see how things can be fixed" and not harsh words such as "I told you so".
(Reflection : Just because you are in a relationship, it does not stop you being an independent person)
Rule Number 44 - Let Them Know If You Don't Like Their Friends
Do you like or get along with all of your partner's friends or buddies?
Well the answer is probably a "no" and it is perfectly ok with that. It would be great if we like or get along with all of our partner's friends and buddies; but in truth that is not always possible.
So, if you do not quite get along with some of his or her friends, be civic about it and simply let your partner know that if he or she is hanging out with them, you would like to be excused and do your own things.
However, if you cannot stand most or worst case, all of your partner's friends and buddies, then you better reassess the situation because your partner is afterall one of them
(Reflection : They are entitled to whatever friends they like, just as you are)
Rule Number 45 - Jealousy is Your Stuff, Not Theirs
Jealousy is one of the most corrosive things in a relationship. It can destroy the most excellent of relationship! And this is especially true if the accused partner is totally innocent!
Please remember - your partner is innocent until proven otherwise, and you must trust them. We are assuming that this partner has never done anything which breached your trust yet!
We know there are tons of reasons to be jealous, but interestingly, most of the reasons are due to your own history. So if it is your own insecurity which is making you into a green-eyed monster, then you have to deal with this monster yourself and do not go blaming your partner!!
Alternatively, if you are on the receiving end of this jealously, you have to be understanding and sympathetic. If you get touchy and insist you are totally faithful, you are right, but you can potentially kill the relationship as well. Relationship is always 2-way; not 1!
(Reflection : It is not your partner's job to tell you where they are all the time)
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