By Annie Chan. Extracted from Richard Templar "The Rules of Love"
Rule Number 21 - Be Together Because You Want To; Not Because You Need To
Ever have friends who glue themselves to their partners so tightly you wonder can they breathe? Well if you have, what do you think is the reason they are with that partner?
Whatever the reason; if it is not because they want to be together but more cos they need that person, their relationship is bound to hit a wall in a matter of time.
Why so? In a healthy relationship, the couple should be encouraging each other on and helping each other to grow and be strong and independent. To an extent they can live without each other but THEY WANT to live with each other.
It is lovely indeed to always be stuck together and do things together. But it is important for each to have his / her own identity as well.
One should be in a relationship with that someone because you want to and not because you need to.
(Reflection : So why are you with them? Because you want to be. Isn't that fabulous)
Rule Number 22 - Allow Your Partner The Space To Be Themselves
A friend who was recently attached let slip that she is very sticky to her man and it makes her happy to always stick around him. Sounds really sweet isn't it?
Well, sadly it is not totally sweet I will say. Always sticking to the guy (read : the poor guy has not space for himself maybe only during work hour) can suffocate the poor fellow!
At the start of the relationship, he might find it endearing his new found love always wants to be with him. Give him more time and when he starts feeling that he no longer has time or space for himself; things can get messy. And when that happens, the lady is going to feel "hurt" at why suddenly the boyfriend is finding excuses to be away from her!! And who is the cause of this situation - yes the lady!
So friends and fans; do not ever fall into this trap of being too sticky with your partner. Give them the space to do things they enjoy with their friends or even on their own. They are going to be ok; weren’t they ok before you came into their life?
(Reflection : You need to give them the time and the space without getting jealous or niggly)
Rule Number 23 - Look To Your Own Faults
Is your partner perfect? I bet not. I bet they have flaws which irritate the hell out of you - messy room, snoring, lousy cook, short temper, spending too much time at work, blah blah blah.
Well that's partners for you. You tried talking to them & well they improved then they slipped back to old ways..
But hang on there... if you have issues with your partners... then won't your partner have issues with you as well? You want them to change / improve then will you change and improve on your flaws as well.
We are all partners to someone at some point of our lives; if our partners' peculiar behaviour can irritate us; the same can be said of our behaviour. So maybe a bit of tolerance will go a longer way for both.
(Reflection : Our partners certainly aren't perfect - and nor are we)
Rule Number 24 : Be Honourable
An earlier rule shared about being nice to one's partner. However, being nice should not just be restricted to one's partner but towards the rest of the world as well.
I am sure you want your partner to be proud of you and to do that; you need to conduct yourself honourably. Acting with integrity, honesty, compassion, etc.
And conducting yourself honourably should not just be restricted to your partner and his / her family and friends; but should be extended to colleagues and everyone you interact with.
Yes, it can be a challenge sometimes. However, if after much deliberation it feels right to do it.... then do it and do not reproach yourself thereafter.
(Reflection : Of course this is easy sometimes. But sometimes it's a real challenge)
Rule Number 25 - Put Each Other First
When you and your partner faced an issue, how do you resolve the issue?
Take you stand or your partner's stand? Or you both agree to come to a common ground?
A relationship whereby both partners put in the effort to put each other first will ultimately last longer than a relationship whereby one party is constantly giving in to the other party. Well the relationship can probably "survive" through, but whether the couple is truly happy only they know.
Whilst a relationship where one places their partner first, they will always consider their partner's feeling and to them, ensuring their partner is happy is of utmost importance, sometimes even at the expense of their own happiness... but then, they need not worry cos their partner will be busy trying to ensure they are happy
Make sense?
(Reflection : You can afford to ignore your own wants and needs, because your partner will be giving them priority)
Ever have friends who glue themselves to their partners so tightly you wonder can they breathe? Well if you have, what do you think is the reason they are with that partner?
Whatever the reason; if it is not because they want to be together but more cos they need that person, their relationship is bound to hit a wall in a matter of time.
Why so? In a healthy relationship, the couple should be encouraging each other on and helping each other to grow and be strong and independent. To an extent they can live without each other but THEY WANT to live with each other.
It is lovely indeed to always be stuck together and do things together. But it is important for each to have his / her own identity as well.
One should be in a relationship with that someone because you want to and not because you need to.
(Reflection : So why are you with them? Because you want to be. Isn't that fabulous)
Rule Number 22 - Allow Your Partner The Space To Be Themselves
A friend who was recently attached let slip that she is very sticky to her man and it makes her happy to always stick around him. Sounds really sweet isn't it?
Well, sadly it is not totally sweet I will say. Always sticking to the guy (read : the poor guy has not space for himself maybe only during work hour) can suffocate the poor fellow!
At the start of the relationship, he might find it endearing his new found love always wants to be with him. Give him more time and when he starts feeling that he no longer has time or space for himself; things can get messy. And when that happens, the lady is going to feel "hurt" at why suddenly the boyfriend is finding excuses to be away from her!! And who is the cause of this situation - yes the lady!
So friends and fans; do not ever fall into this trap of being too sticky with your partner. Give them the space to do things they enjoy with their friends or even on their own. They are going to be ok; weren’t they ok before you came into their life?
(Reflection : You need to give them the time and the space without getting jealous or niggly)
Rule Number 23 - Look To Your Own Faults
Is your partner perfect? I bet not. I bet they have flaws which irritate the hell out of you - messy room, snoring, lousy cook, short temper, spending too much time at work, blah blah blah.
Well that's partners for you. You tried talking to them & well they improved then they slipped back to old ways..
But hang on there... if you have issues with your partners... then won't your partner have issues with you as well? You want them to change / improve then will you change and improve on your flaws as well.
We are all partners to someone at some point of our lives; if our partners' peculiar behaviour can irritate us; the same can be said of our behaviour. So maybe a bit of tolerance will go a longer way for both.
(Reflection : Our partners certainly aren't perfect - and nor are we)
Rule Number 24 : Be Honourable
An earlier rule shared about being nice to one's partner. However, being nice should not just be restricted to one's partner but towards the rest of the world as well.
I am sure you want your partner to be proud of you and to do that; you need to conduct yourself honourably. Acting with integrity, honesty, compassion, etc.
And conducting yourself honourably should not just be restricted to your partner and his / her family and friends; but should be extended to colleagues and everyone you interact with.
Yes, it can be a challenge sometimes. However, if after much deliberation it feels right to do it.... then do it and do not reproach yourself thereafter.
(Reflection : Of course this is easy sometimes. But sometimes it's a real challenge)
Rule Number 25 - Put Each Other First
When you and your partner faced an issue, how do you resolve the issue?
Take you stand or your partner's stand? Or you both agree to come to a common ground?
A relationship whereby both partners put in the effort to put each other first will ultimately last longer than a relationship whereby one party is constantly giving in to the other party. Well the relationship can probably "survive" through, but whether the couple is truly happy only they know.
Whilst a relationship where one places their partner first, they will always consider their partner's feeling and to them, ensuring their partner is happy is of utmost importance, sometimes even at the expense of their own happiness... but then, they need not worry cos their partner will be busy trying to ensure they are happy
Make sense?
(Reflection : You can afford to ignore your own wants and needs, because your partner will be giving them priority)
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