By Annie Chan. Extracted from Richard Templar "The Rules of Love"
Rule Number 26 - Recognise The Signs
How do you show your partner you love him / her? And how does your partner expressed his / her love?
Flowers, romantic dinners, gifts, public declaration of love blah blah blah..... all the cliché stuff? Well, these can definitely be signs of love..... but how about:-
1. Waking up in the morning to make you coffee?
2. Ironing the clothes when they know you are tired?
3. Giving your partner space / time to pursue own interest without you?
4. Making sure you take your medicines when you are unwell?
Aren't these signs of love as well? If that person does not love you, why would he / she bother doing things for you to make you happy?
So before you start screaming your partner is not loving you cos eg. he / she has not bought you gift, look for other signs of love instead. Sometimes it can be so subtle you won't even recognise them.
(Reflection : Every little thing they do that they didn't have to is their way of saying "I love you")
Rule Number 27 - Be A Hero.... or A Heroine
Everyone, well almost everyone, wants a superhero. Someone who can rescue them when they are in need of help.
Our partners are no difference. So is the inner hero / heroine in you a good match with your partner? Can superhero you "save" your partner?
However, while you wish to rescue your partner, you have to first recognise if your partner want to be rescue! Sometimes they do not want a superhero; rather they just want a listening ear.
So before you start slipping into your superhero role.... know what your partner wants out of his / her "superhero"!
(Reflection : What kind of hero or heroine do you want to be?)
Rule Number 28 - Accept The Differences, Embrace What You have in Common
Everyone is different - Different perspectives, different priorities, different personalities, different ideas...... so don't you think it is important to accept the differences and embrace the similarities?
Yes, it can get rather irritating looking at the differences so why look at them then. Why focus on the differences when you can focus on the common interests and goals!
It is definitely important to be able to share same goals such as child raising, finances, etc. But having some differences is healthy as well cos we are afterall two individuals who will be great together if the attitude is right
(Reflection : The best teams contain people with different strengths)
Rule Number 29 - Don't Belittle Your Partner
You are too fat! Why you so dumb! Can you walk faster! Why you wear this outfit ... you are embarrassing! etc etc etc
Have you come across such relationship patterns among couple friends you know? Have you experience such "talk down" attitude yourself from your partner?
You chose to be with your partner because you love him / her. If so, why would you belittle your partner? Why would you embarrass him / her in public? Why talk down to her/ him?
So remember, you chose your partner to love and cherish him / her. So quit belittling them and start living a life filled with love and joy!
(Reflection : Even if you are angry with them; you never air your dirty linen in public)
Rule Number 30 - You Want To do What?
If you love someone, it is your job to help them fulfil their dreams and ambitions isn't it? Yes, at times this help you extend might require great effort, but you want them to be happy don't you?
I know you are probably wondering eg. "what if his dream requires him to take off from you for 1 year and you barely just started on this wonderful relationship?"
Well, as long as the dream has got nothing to do with infidelity or criminal acts, then why not support them? Encourage them to pursue their dream and in turn you can pursue yours.
But of cos, if you are not to0 comfortable with his plans you should always voice it out so that you BOTH can find a solution together.
(Reflection : If you refuse to co-operate, you will be building resentment and dependency, and stifling their dreams)
How do you show your partner you love him / her? And how does your partner expressed his / her love?
Flowers, romantic dinners, gifts, public declaration of love blah blah blah..... all the cliché stuff? Well, these can definitely be signs of love..... but how about:-
1. Waking up in the morning to make you coffee?
2. Ironing the clothes when they know you are tired?
3. Giving your partner space / time to pursue own interest without you?
4. Making sure you take your medicines when you are unwell?
Aren't these signs of love as well? If that person does not love you, why would he / she bother doing things for you to make you happy?
So before you start screaming your partner is not loving you cos eg. he / she has not bought you gift, look for other signs of love instead. Sometimes it can be so subtle you won't even recognise them.
(Reflection : Every little thing they do that they didn't have to is their way of saying "I love you")
Rule Number 27 - Be A Hero.... or A Heroine
Everyone, well almost everyone, wants a superhero. Someone who can rescue them when they are in need of help.
Our partners are no difference. So is the inner hero / heroine in you a good match with your partner? Can superhero you "save" your partner?
However, while you wish to rescue your partner, you have to first recognise if your partner want to be rescue! Sometimes they do not want a superhero; rather they just want a listening ear.
So before you start slipping into your superhero role.... know what your partner wants out of his / her "superhero"!
(Reflection : What kind of hero or heroine do you want to be?)
Rule Number 28 - Accept The Differences, Embrace What You have in Common
Everyone is different - Different perspectives, different priorities, different personalities, different ideas...... so don't you think it is important to accept the differences and embrace the similarities?
Yes, it can get rather irritating looking at the differences so why look at them then. Why focus on the differences when you can focus on the common interests and goals!
It is definitely important to be able to share same goals such as child raising, finances, etc. But having some differences is healthy as well cos we are afterall two individuals who will be great together if the attitude is right
(Reflection : The best teams contain people with different strengths)
Rule Number 29 - Don't Belittle Your Partner
You are too fat! Why you so dumb! Can you walk faster! Why you wear this outfit ... you are embarrassing! etc etc etc
Have you come across such relationship patterns among couple friends you know? Have you experience such "talk down" attitude yourself from your partner?
You chose to be with your partner because you love him / her. If so, why would you belittle your partner? Why would you embarrass him / her in public? Why talk down to her/ him?
So remember, you chose your partner to love and cherish him / her. So quit belittling them and start living a life filled with love and joy!
(Reflection : Even if you are angry with them; you never air your dirty linen in public)
Rule Number 30 - You Want To do What?
If you love someone, it is your job to help them fulfil their dreams and ambitions isn't it? Yes, at times this help you extend might require great effort, but you want them to be happy don't you?
I know you are probably wondering eg. "what if his dream requires him to take off from you for 1 year and you barely just started on this wonderful relationship?"
Well, as long as the dream has got nothing to do with infidelity or criminal acts, then why not support them? Encourage them to pursue their dream and in turn you can pursue yours.
But of cos, if you are not to0 comfortable with his plans you should always voice it out so that you BOTH can find a solution together.
(Reflection : If you refuse to co-operate, you will be building resentment and dependency, and stifling their dreams)
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