Rule Number 61 - Contentment is a High Aim
Are you addicted to the feeling of being "in love"? Do you constantly need to have that butterflies in the stomach feel whenever you are with your partner?
If so, I bet you probably find yourself falling in and out of love ever so frequently.
Dear friends, please realise that the butterflies in the stomach feeling cannot or rather do not last for a very long time. After your relationship stabilises, that fluttering feeling will probably no longer exist. But that does not mean the love is gone.
In fact, for Rules players, this stage probably marks the start of the contentment stage. A stage whereby the couple will now find the relationship even more rewarding, fulfilling, warm, loving, etc!
So strive for contentment in your relationship if you wish to have a long term relationship
(Reflection : Contentment isn't about fireworks, weak knees and flutteriness)
Rule Number 62 - Be Generous to Each Other Financially
How generous are you with your partner? Do you share what you have with them or give them what you have?
How about when it comes to money? Are you generous with them as well? If you partner need some help in terms of money are you generous in extending that helping hand?
Well, in our earlier Rules we did say couple should have separate account so you must be wondering why then are we asking you to be generous.
Well, it is simple. If you earn more, it is quite natural that you should pay more bills, buy more treats, etc isn't it? We are not saying you feed your partner's gambling addiction here!!
But if you partner need some financial support, do you lend them?
Well, this can be a little bit more tricky. You have to be practical - can you afford to give the money to them without affecting your own financial situation? Do you expect them to return the money? This is being practical. You really do not want to be lending them and hence resulting in both of you being in debt don't you!
So go ahead and be generous with your partner on a daily basis. But when it comes to the big ticket items; consider all the necessary details.
(Reflection : If you have more money than your partner, you need to pay for more)
Rule Number 63 - You Make a Choice Every Day
Every morning we wake up, we have a choice to have a great day or an average day. So what will be your choice.
The same applies to relationship. You made a choice to be in a relationship with a particular person. You made a choice to accept his / her strengths and flaws. You made a choice to stay or leave. It is all about your choice.
So, if you are in a toxic relationship and you still staying put. It is your choice to stay put. I doubt your partner put a leash around your neck and restrain you. You put that invisible leash around your own neck and somehow chose to stay on.
It is really all about choices. So make the choices which will make you happy.
(Reflection : Recognise that you are responsible for being where you are now)
Rule Number 64 - Don't Be A Martyr
Are you suffering in silence? If the answer is yes, this Rule is simply telling you to stop it!
If you are not happy with your partner's behaviour, talk it out with him or her. Do not begrudgingly continue suffering in silence. It will not be healthy for the relationship in the long run. You will soon suffer fatigue and start to hate your partner, your relationship and probably even yourself.
So, stop being a martyr and deal with your situation with your partner like a mature adult.
(Reflection : If you let people find out, you are not actually being a martyr at all)
Rule Number 65 - You Don't Both Have To Have The Same Rules
We are all different and that goes without saying your partner is likely to be different from you too! If that is the case, chances are their rules and yours are probably a tad different. And there is nothing wrong with that, really!!
If there is nothing wrong then why a Rule on this you say?
Well, the Rule is here so remind you that you should acknowledge the different rules which you function in and both partner should understand that.
Eg. If you are a morning person, then you be the one to make breakfast. If you partner is the night owl, make him / her clear out the last trash.
It is all about balance in the relationship. The balance need not happen on a daily basis. But if both of you are Rules players, things will balance out in the long run.
(Reflection : The object here is to make your partner feel loved and cared for and to put them first)